I remember when I created this blog and was presented with the challenge of coming up with a title that had not already been taken. (NOT an easy task). I was 4 months from taking on new last name and knew I wanted to incorporate it somehow (even if I was jumping the gun a bit). For whatever reason, “life as Fine” stuck, probably because every thing else including “Fine” already had an owner. Guess I was a little late to the “Fine” blogging game. But I decided to go with it. Knowing that very soon my life would be changing in really big ways. And I would be taking on life with a new identity… as a Fine.
Well, as warned, the wedding day came and went and I have been living true to this blog’s title: life as Fine, for over a month now. A month full of change, laughter, tears, prayer, forgiveness, thanksgiving, and bravery.
Although I knew marriage would test me in new ways, I didn’t expect it to teach me so much so soon. I knew that it would probably force me to be “brave” but I didn’t know it would change my idea of bravery altogether.
My husband has always been a lot braver than me. Or so I thought. He is carefree and always up for an adventure. He’s not worried about what people think of him. He would wear chacos with socks in public if I would let him. He dances when no one else is dancing (and when we’re not even in an ‘appropriate’ place to be dancing). He’s one brave man, I tell ya.
And although I usually just smirk and shake my head, I love this about him. Because it’s so often the opposite of me. I am a lover of things comfortable, predictable, safe and planned. Those words alone make my heart feel warm. But what the Lord has been teaching me, as a new wife, is that being brave doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. It doesn’t have to look like my husband’s image of bravery. The Lord is teaching me that I am just as brave in my own ways. That, although I am more introverted and pray against being the center of attention, that doesn’t mean I am not capable of brave moments. They just might not look like singing karaoke on a Friday night 🙂
I’m also learning that we can’t be brave alone. We all need people in our life who look like the definition of brave we desire. People who pull people like me out of their shells and love us enough to say, “Hey, you can do this”, “Stop worrying”, “Why do you care what they think?”. I know it can’t just be me who needs these subtle reminders. We all need that sibling, friend, parent, spouse, mentor in our life who is willing to give us that loving push. To provide those words that we don’t, but secretly do, want to hear. And to point us back to the One that is the most sovereign and faithful over our lives.
Within the last month of becoming a Fine wife, a military wife, moving to St. Louis, learning to cook, budgeting, turning down a job, accepting another job, building a home, making new friends, getting everywhere by GPS and so much more, God has clearly given me many chances to be brave. Many of which I have taken without even realizing it. Others of which I took because someone brave encouraged me to be brave too.
But maybe this is how it’s supposed to be… maybe this was the Lord’s plan all along. Maybe He puts us in a new place, with a new name, with new people and new experiences, and we’re expecting to be scared, home sick, and anxious, but then He proves to us that we were ready all along. That He, as promised, is walking beside us and calling us and equipping us to be brave. Even when we didn’t know we had it in us. Even when we thought being brave looked completely different.
You’re probably braver than you give yourself credit for. Don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise.